‘Standing Woman’: Young matriarch keeps life’s teachings in her heart

Grandmothers and mothers share their lessons of family responsibilities with their daughters and granddaughters to carry on the family life traditions.

How to face problems and find solutions, how to stay strong. Those were among the lessons that Sherraine White learned from her mother and grandmother.

But White had to learn quickly. Just 23, the young Anishinaabe woman is now the primary caregiver in her family, not only as a big sister but also as a mother figure with roles and responsibilities for nurturing and empowering her siblings.

She nonetheless is grounded in the lessons she learned before her mother passed away two years ago and her grandmother before that in a string of losses of close family members.

“The biggest lessons I learned from my mother and grandmother were resiliency,” White, Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe, told ICT.

“They taught me to face and solve my problems head-on with no hesitation. As tough as things get, you’ve just got to get it done,” she said. “I also learned to always show humility for others. They taught me to put others before myself, which I took literally as a kid and still to this day.”

And she learned to do it on her own.

“I was raised by my single mother and grandmother with a sprinkle of help from my Uncle James White Jr.,” White said. “They taught me how to make things happen without the help of a man in our lives.”

When asked about having a family motto, White responded that they are strength-based in thought and practice. There has been so much loss on both sides of her family in their young lives that their perseverance has been noticed by others in their communities.

“I am not good with mottos, but when the going gets tough, I always tell my siblings to just keep one foot in front of the other,” White said. “No matter the hardships we face, just keep moving forward towards your dream because we’re in charge of creating the lives we want for ourselves.”

Family losses

White was born, raised and resides in Isle, Minnesota, and graduated from Isle public schools in 2017.

She is now working as the executive administrative assistant to the chief executive of Mille Lacs Corporate Ventures, who oversees tribal business for the Mille Lacs Band.

Her mother, Jaylene White, had seven children. Sherraine is the oldest, followed by Matthew Mitchell Jr., 19; Valerie Mitchell, 18; Jayenissa Mitchell, 16; her late sister, Naomi White-Mitchell, who would have been 15; Waylon Mitchell, 14; and the youngest, Aniyah White, 10.

“These are the siblings I was raised with and spend the most time with,” she told ICT.

She also has seven siblings on her father’s side: Mary-Jane Warren, 23; her late brother Andre, who would have been 19; Jerome 17; Ale BigBear-Merrill, 18; Diamond Wind, 16; Miana Merrill-BigBear, 14; and Torii BigBear-Merrill, 5.

She has taken on the role as primary caregiver for the young family.

“I think the thing that makes my family unique is that we are all and will always be kids at heart no matter how old we get,” White said.

She was close to her grandmother and her mother, but endured other losses as well.

“I have experienced quite a bit of loss growing up,” White said. “Since I was a little kid, I would go with my grandma to the funerals of those she knew, so it was something I was aware of but not too affected by up until 2010.”

“In 2010, my mother had a stillbirth with my sister Naomi,” she said. “I was 9 years old at the time, so I still couldn’t understand the feeling of loss. All I remember is the feeling of being sad. She carried my sister to full term, so she went through all that mothers go through during pregnancy except getting to raise my sister. I remember seeing the hurt in her face and the sorrow in her energy.”

White had just been introduced to basketball about that time, and the game has helped get her through over the years, she said.

Then she lost a cousin to domestic violence in 2016, just before her senior year in high school.

“The game has helped me cope as I grew up,” White said. “I was going through a hard time in my life with the relationship with my mother.”

Her grandfather, James White Sr., died in November 2017, and her grandmother, Loris White, died two months later.

“This one hurt a bit, as my grandma helped my mom raise us kids, and after the loss of both my mom’s parents, she changed,” she said.

She lost a favorite cousin in 2020, when they were both 21. Then on Nov. 30, 2022, her mother died.

“I was able to spend the last month of her life (with) just her … kind of the way my life began,” she said. “The most recent losses gave me little to no hope for myself being able to continue. I am still learning how to cope with the losses but I know I have to try something since I now am raising my younger siblings.”

‘Standing Woman’

Lee Staples, Gaa-Anishinaabemod Obizaan, is a spiritual leader from Aazhomog and the Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe. Obizaan is the White’s namesake.

“Because of the way I was brought up by my mother and grandmother, I am resilient. I am determined, and I can persevere through anything thrown my way,” she said. “Naaniibawiikwe, the Standing Woman, is what I am called, and the way Obizaan explained the name fit me to a ‘T’.”

She has taken the teachings to heart.

“I was raised by our seven teachings without even realizing it,” she said. “I was raised to give the clothes off my back and give to the next person if needed. I was taught to put myself last in all aspects of life to help another when needed. Being so young, there are still so many things to learn and pass on to my siblings, and future possible children if I have any.”

The network of support is expansive, including family friend Wendy Merrill, the District 2 representative of the Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe.

“Wendy Merrill is someone I think very highly of and she has seen me through the majority of my young adult life,” White said. “I always get emotional thinking about what she’s been through and how far she has come. We are a lot alike in some aspects. She, like me, takes care of not only her children but has taken in her nieces and nephews to raise. She lost her mom just over a year ago and yet has accomplished so much since her mom’s passing. If Wendy can do it, I know I can, too.”

Merrill shares her admiration of White.

“Sherraine is the most beautiful woman and strongest woman I’ve met,” Merrill said. “She is resilient and can push through the challenges of life. She is empowering and giving. I know she looks up to me but I look up to her because of her beauty and willingness to be a strong Anishinaabekwe.”